When I don’t stop to take responsibility for my own feelings as they come up, I’m far more likely to lose my patience and shout.
Recently, I was upset about something and instead of dropping into that and letting myself process it I carried on making the dinner. I got impatient and snappy with the boys. And immediately felt terrible.
As always, I immediately wondered if they’d always remember the 1% of the time I get angry instead of the 99% I’m gentle and loving and kind?
When our cups are empty we take on the ‘martyr’ energy. We might feel like we ‘should’ spend time with the kids and yet underneath actually feel resentful, impatient and angry because we haven’t had time for ourselves.
That’s how I felt when bedtime rolled around. I didn’t want to put them to bed. I didn’t want to read them a book. I didn’t want to lay there until they fell asleep. But I did. And I wish that I’d taken responsibility for my own feelings instead. Maybe taken a 5-10 minute starlight walk and put them to bed a little bit later, but clearer and calmer.
If you connect with your children because you should or because of self judgement or guilt, you will start feeling resentful / impatient/ angry towards your children about the time you spend with them.
When this happens, your sensitive children will pick up on it and this can lead to them feeling frightened or insecure and more clingy, demanding behaviour.
So, the more you play/ spend time/ connect out of this sense that you have to, the more demanding they become and the more likely you are to wind up shouting and then regretting it!
Here’s my 2 simple strategies to stop shouting at your kids:
1. As a preventative, take time for yourself to be with and process your feelings each day through meditation, journaling or whatever works for you.
2. When you become aware of feelings building up during the day, the best thing you can do for yourself (and your children)is to take a short time away from your children to process/ listen to your feelings right away. Even if it’s in the shower. Rather than continuing to be around your children when you feel this way.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this, please share with me in the private Lightfilled Parenting circle here
B. Ed Early Childhood
Certified Lightworker Practitioner
PS we dive deeper into processing and releasing emotions in my online program Emotional Balm