What can sometimes be a source of frustration for many parents is that after spending time connecting with their children, challenging behaviours like tantrums, throwing toys, shouting or hitting will rear their heads.

Often, just the fact that your play time is ending can be enough for the tears or tantrum to flow.

After spending that beautiful time connecting with you, your child is now feeling really emotionally safe and any underlying feelings are bubbling really close to the surface, ready to be released from the body.

This is actually a good thing – so it helps if you take a breath and try to reframe it that way!

E-motions are meant to be fluid. Energy in motion. We feel them and then they should flow through the body to be released. As part of modern society though, most of us have become accustomed to avoiding or suppressing feelings meaning that they will stay bubbling away in the body.

Empathising with your child but keeping firm (yet loving) limits is normally enough to allow the tears to flow, pent up feelings to be released and emotional healing to occur.

For example,”I know you really love playing together and you don’t want it to end. I see that you’re feeling really upset that mummy’s not playing anymore right now.”

Listen. Give empathy. But you don’t need to change your limit. Let the tears/ tantrum run their course. You can read more about holding space for your children’s big feelings here.

It can help to be aware of this when choosing a time to offer connection so you can sit with your child’s feelings when the time ends without feeling rushed or resentful.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this, please share with me in the private Lightfilled Parenting circle here

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Belinda Connelly
Parenting Mentor

B. Ed Early Childhood

Certified Lightworker Practictioner

 

PS If you’d like to dive deeper into your own parenting challenges you can book my 1:1 support here

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