I’ve always made a point of being very honest with my kids, explaining things in child friendly terms, trying to be as open and authentic as I can, so that we can build a strong sense of trust in our relationship.
I try to stick by the saying:
“say what you mean and mean what you say.”
The one place where I haven’t stuck to this is with Santa. I love the sense of make believe and magic and passing down family traditions that I enjoyed as a child. But as my eldest grows older something about this hasn’t been sitting right with me. For months now I’ve been pushing this feeling down and deflecting his questions because I didn’t want to answer with a lie.
But kids know when something’s “off” and they’re being lied to, at least on some level.
They’re intuition tells them something is not quite right. And when the lie comes from someone they trust it creates internal conflict because their intuition is telling them one thing, but this trusted person is telling them something else.
Last week, my son was upset about something else entirely but as I was listening to all his feelings tumbling out he blurted out,
“You never tell me the truth!”
Because I always tell him the truth (apart from this one issue) I was totally shocked and asked to tell me what he meant.
“You never tell me the truth about Santa!”
I knew that I needed to make things right with him. I want him to always know he’ll get an honest answer from me and I realised I hadn’t been living up to that value of mine in this area. I told him that I’d always tell him the truth and answer his questions honestly.
He asked if Santa was real.
I based my answer on a letter I remember seeing on the internet awhile back.
“Santa is really like the Spirit of Christmas, and the spirit of Christmas has been around for hundreds and hundreds of years. The mummy’s and daddy’s help to keep Santa and the spirit of Christmas alive by wrapping the presents and carefully putting them under the tree for their children to wake up to on Christmas morning.
And do you know why we do that?
Because we love to see the happiness on your face when you wake up on Christmas morning. We want you to believe in Magic and Love and know in your heart that anything is possible, because those are really important things to have in your heart as you grow up.
So all the mummy’s and daddy’s are helpers of Santa and now you can be a helper to keep the Spirit of Christmas alive too.”
It seemed like a huge sigh of relief for him to have this truth he’d been seeking for quite some time now. And it’s been a huge sigh of relief for me too in being honest and re-aligning to my parenting values.
By the way, I’m not saying that you should or shouldn’t do “Santa”. My youngest still believes and we’ll continue that in a low key way.
What I am saying, is that you should tune in to whatever feels honest, authentic and aligned to YOUR parenting values and do that.
I’d love to know your thoughts, please share with me in the Lightfilled Parenting Circle here
B. Ed (Early Childhood)
Certified Lightworker Practitioner